Tag Archive | Surrendered Wife

Giving In To Your Husband Intimate Desires When You’re Not In The Mood


“Hit-and-run” relationships have become common in our society as it has grown more rootless, less tied to traditional family structures, and more accepting of casual sex. But at the same time, there arises an undercurrent of feeling that something is missing-a quality of intimacy.
This quality has very little to do with the physical, though sex is certainly one possible door. Far more important is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities, with the trust that the other person will treat them with care.

Sex has been discussed out loud for decades, and yet,  behind closed doors, many of the same problems that have plagued women for generations, such as issues of confidence and confusion still exist. Some women have grown up uninterested in sex, while others are finding that, as they’ve aged, their interest in sex has diminished greatly.

When a little blue pill called Viagra radically changed people’s sex lives, marriages that had been coasting on mutual sexual dysfunction, such as the husband unable having sex, and the wife being quite happy to go without it, changed radically. Wives were “fine with the way it used to be, I don’t need sex.” Yet they now have an extremely aroused husband to contend with, and his interest is unlikely to diminish.

Research has shown that one in three women lacks an interest in sex. But that can be fixed. While it’s true that low desire can be caused by medical problems, it’s essential to uncover and understand the psychological factors behind it. A lack of desire may have many causes.

After a long and tiring day your husband initiates sex, and it seems like less effort to simply go along with his physical desires than to start a fight. Many a woman believe that she has to be agreeable and passive and satisfy her spouse’s needs.

She wants to please him, for fear of rejection and frustration, and so many women try to be giving in this way. But it can’t be one-sided. It has to be a win/win situation. You need two participants. Like me, most men really get excited in seeing their wives aroused. You can’t think, as long as I’m there and I’m willing, then it’s all okay. Of course, your partner may appreciate that it’s better than having no sex, but he certainly can tell an avid partner from an “ok…I’ll do it, if need be”  lump. Consenting, rather than figuring out how to make sex an enjoyable experience for you, is not the answer. In this respect, you’re denying yourself the intimacy and the fun you could be having. You might be thinking, I’m so angry with him, the last thing I feel like doing is giving him pleasure and satisfaction, or you may resent the fact that your spouse is inconsiderate of your fatigue. Feelings like that can and should be communicated. Realize that if being intimate with your spouse doesn’t feel physically good to you, your are not going to be “into it”, not motivated! Keep in mind that no man is unable to do what you want, if you show him, and tell him. A man who wants to have a good sex life is going to have to realize that intimacy is about more than taking care of only his desires.

Physical Intimacy | Marriage Today | Jimmy and Karen Evans
Do you feel as though your partner´s body is your place of pleasure and delight? Discover how to closely share physical needs and desires while giving yourself to physically serve your spouse.




Recommended Reading:

The Surrendered Wife : A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man

by: Laura Doyle

This controversial approach to marriage has transformed thousands of relationships, bringing women romance, harmony, and the intimacy they crave.

Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew — and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it.

When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.

The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle’s model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband’s choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.

Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

  • Give up unnecessary control and responsibility
  • Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands
  • Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage — from sexual to financial, and more.

The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.




Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back

by: Tim Clinton
When does true love give in? When does true love push back? Break Through by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle shows you how to love and how to set effective limits so that everybody wins.

While most of our relationships may be healthy and satisfying, we often have one or two important people who change the rules and drive us crazy–a deadbeat dad, an alcoholic spouse, a wayward child, a demanding boss, a lazy roommate.

When you really care about someone, it’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive patterns–caving in to a spouse’s manipulation, ignoring a live-at-home son’s irresponsibility, not confronting a friend’s addiction. We excuse people again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting better boundaries.

When we act out of enmeshment and codependency, we may think we are experiencing love, but it’s a shallow substitute for the love God longs for us to share and enjoy. Break Through helps you exchange manipulative and unhealthy relationships for reciprocal relationships that honor boundaries and allow each person the freedom to take responsibility for his or her own choices. 

This important book, with its transformational tools and insightful illustrations from leading Christian counselor Tim Clinton and noted author Pat Springle, will guide you in not only breaking through to better relationships but making big changes for the better.

Their expert insights will help you:

  •  Identify why you gravitate toward certain relationships, and why you stay
  •  Discern the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship
  •  Live within your limits, and help others to do the same
  •  Redefine love, trust–and your responsibility to the people you care about
  •  Learn which choices and behaviors cause relationship troubles
  •  Experience the power and freedom of forgiveness

With proven principles for learning to say yes when you want to and no when you need to, you’ll discover how to give up your need to please, rescue, fix, or control anyone else. Leave others’ unrealistic expectations behind. Speak the hard truth to those who have hurt you. And exchange harmful relationship habits for healthy ones.

Like a GPS that guides you through the detours in your travels, Break Through offers sure navigation across the landscape of troubled relationships, giving you a saner perspective, along with practical steps and valuable tools that can protect you from the controlling, irresponsible behaviors of others. And the study questions, checklists, and inspirational stories in this book will help you fulfill your deepest potential for connecting to others in authentic ways.

Within these pages is your moment: the moment when you break through to the love that God longs for you to experience with the people who matter most!


Compelled to Control: Recovering Intimacy in Broken Relationships

by: J. Keith Miller

This exciting book breaks new ground in identifying the major cause of relationship failure as the need to control – in marriages and families, with friends and within organizations. Compelled to Control reflects Miller’s sweeping knowledge as a thinker, a speakers and a writer. Going far beyond “how to control a controller,” Miller speaks from the perspective of experience and personal change.

“When a controller has the sense of life being out of control,” he says, “he or she reacts with an even stronger need to ‘get things under control’…usually with the negative result of alienating the people who matter the most.” Miller tackles this deeply denied, seemingly universal phenomenon with compassion and offers a way out of the dilemma. He tells who to approach broken relationships in new ways, leaving behind destructive patterns of perfectionism and self-justification.

Keith Miller is one of those rare writers who can combine intellectual acuity with deeply felt insight born of his own struggle for authenticity.Compelled to Control is an impressive contribution to the literature of recovery and personal change.



Sensual Couples Massage: Pleasure Your Woman Instructional Video [Blu-ray]

publisher: MyMassageVideo.com

The sensual massage kit is the perfect gift for couples who just want to have fun. This video set will teach you how to transform your current technique into a guaranteed pleasurable experience each and every time.

Have you lost that spark in your relationship?

Do you need a new way to re-connect?

Are you looking for a romantic escape?

Do you want to set the mood for a fantastic first time?

Do you want a deeper connection in your relationship?

Are you looking for the perfect gift to spice things up?

This video set shows just how to set the right atmosphere and conduct the perfect massage for intimate pleasure. Learn the tips and tricks on how to touch someone in a way that makes them feel special and feel relaxed making way for the ultimate sensual experience. The largest sense organ on the human body is the skin.

Learn how to touch someone like they’ve never been touched before. Learn how to take advantage of commonly overlooked areas to provide the maximum pleasure. Turn your lover s body into one large erogenous zone through the techniques we teach you. Watch and learn from our nearly three hours of massage information in the comfort of your own home. Our couple rubs each other while a narrator gives you direct step-by-step instruction of just what to do. Just sit back, relax, and follow the simple procedures. You can t go wrong.


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